Charlotte’s Tantrums

At school little Charlotte was as quiet as a mouse.

charlotte_page1_mouse

 

But when she got home …

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She howled like a werewolf with toothache.

She screamed like a scalded witch.

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She huffed and puffed

and stamped her feet

and threw herself on the floor.

 

At school little Charlotte ate her dinner without any fuss.

But when she got home …

She refused to eat her broccoli

and scowled at her home-made chips.

 

At school little Charlotte was polite and kind.

But when she got home …

She barked at her Mum

and she growled at her Dad.

 

Charlotte’s parents worked at home.

They needed peace and quiet.

charlotte_page5

“Are you ill?” said Dad.

“What’s the matter?” said Mum.

These tantrums will have to stop.”

 

Ruff!” barked Charlotte.

Grrrr!” she growled.

“AAAAAARRGGHHH!” she howled.

 

“What are we going to do with you?” wailed Mum and Dad.

“There must be something we can do.”

 

So they talked to her teacher, who didn’t believe them.

They called in a doctor, who couldn’t cure her.

They tried supernannies,

hypnotists

and the riot police …

But Charlotte defeated them all.

 

Charlotte’s parents were inventors.

They made ear-plugs and drew up a plan.

“She might be a pain, but she’s lively,” said Mum.

“We’ll put her to work round the house.”

 

So next time Charlotte huffed and puffed,

Mum used her as a hair-dryer.

 

Next time Charlotte screamed and howled,

Dad used her to scare off burglars

and the ghost in the attic.

 

Next time Charlotte stamped her feet,

Mum whipped out the paper and paint.

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Her wild new style caused a stir in the art world

and her paintings went on show in Paris.

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But during the summer holidays,

Charlotte’s tantrums got worse.

 

“She needs a proper job,” said Dad.

“Maybe the army needs help …”

 

The army used Charlotte

as a secret weapon

and its enemies quickly surrendered.

 

Soon there were no more wars in the world

and Charlotte won the Nobel Peace Prize.

 

But when she got home …

Ruff!” barked Charlotte.

Grrrr!” she growled.

“AAAAAARRGGHHH!” she howled.

 

Aliens from the planet Nark

were massing on the moon.

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So Mum and Dad built a sturdy rocket

and fired Charlotte into space.

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“Save the Earth!” yelled everyone.

“Only you can scare them off.”

So she did.

And at last the universe was quiet.

Until Charlotte got home …

 

… and found she had two baby brothers.

charlotte_babies-2

“Goo,” they gurgled.

“Urrr,” they grizzled.

“WAAAAAAAHHH!” they howled.

 

ENDS

© Nick Walker 2016